Du vet når du hører en sang og den bare treffer deg så hardt at du nesten blir lamslått?

 


Now that it’s all said and done,
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down like an old abandoned house
 
What you said when you left,
just left me cold and out of breath
I felt if I was in way too deep,
guess I let you get the best of me
 
Well, I never saw it coming,
I should have started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
 
I’m slowly getting closure,
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting better
 
And now I’m picking up the pieces,
spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you
 
You took a hammer to these walls,
dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away,
there was nothing I could say
And when you slammed the front door shut,
a lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so
 
I could see that you never were the best for me
 
Well, I never saw it coming,
I should have started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
 
I’m slowly getting closure, I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting better
And now I’m picking up the pieces,
spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
 
'Cause the day I thought I’d never get through...

....I got over you

Fucking fairytale ...

So this is how my fairytale ends,
Life with no feelings, failed all my friends.
I keep hoping for an answer, a solution, maybe faith.
But still I'm seeking out the problems, the pain and what I felt.

A new bumpy road is cleared ahead, I'm still clinging on to that very last straw,
Please don't break, please be strong, please try harder, please go on.

There's no turning back from where we are,
No fights left to fight, no tears left to cry.
The heartbeat of what used to be, and I realize..
I don't know what's wrong and what's real,
I don't even know how to feel

As the days goes by, and the fights remains the same.
I slowly understand I don't know who to blame,
Is it you for the pain? Is it me? Am I insane?

But then
Like lightning from a clear sky
I realized it's you
I know now who you are
How could I be so blind? How did I ignore the pain?

You treated me like shit,
You broke me down
You cheated on me, you lied,
Even though I begged and cried
I let you do it, I was too afraid to be alone,
But not anymore,
You win
I'm done

Hjerte av glass

Blodet pumper...
Klokka er bare 7 om morgenen, men hun føler for å skrike allerede. Hun må ta meg sammen, men skjønner ikke helt hvordan hun skal få det til med alle disse tankene svirrende rundt i hodet. Hun tar frem dagboken.

"I går drakk jeg meg full, kun for å glemme. Oppdrag vellykket. Skummelt. Tanker..burde gi opp, men hjertet vil ikke gi slipp, ikke helt enda. Hvordan kommer jeg gjennom til han? hva må jeg gjør for at han skal skjønne at han knuser meg med handlingene sine. Skjønner han ingenting? eller er jeg kanskje jeg som ikke skjønner?  -M-


Ironien her er jeg skrev dette i April 2012, men jeg publiserte ikke det.
Kanskje jeg burde gjort det.
Kanskje da, hadde jeg ikke sittet her med et knust hjerte.
Mennesker er aldri slik som du tror de er, alle lyger, alle bedrar.
Så du må selv ta valget om du vil hoppe i det, eller ta et steg tilbake.

Jeg hoppet i det.... jeg angrer.

Men det er kanskje noe i det se sier... "man lærer så lenge man lever"
....Det jeg har lært de siste to årene er at folk forandrer seg ikke.
Aldri tro på noen når han sier at det aldri skal skje igjen... det e bare piss.
Aldri tro at noen kan slutte å lyge...
Aldri tro på "det er bare deg" hvis magen din sier noe annet..
Nok en gang lærte jeg det på den vanskelige måten.

Hadde jeg bare tatt et steg tilbake for 2 år siden......